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Top 10: Failed Top 10s

Published by in Top 10 on October 14th, 2012

 

TOP 10 FAILED TOP 10s

 

10. Reasons why pineapples are spikey

 

9. Ways to blow up balloons without air

 

8. Reasons to hop

 

7. Excuses for not going to a Bon Jovi concert

 

6. Responses to pet proposals

 

5. Songs to hum to inmates

 

4. Ways to headbutt zoo animals and get away with it

 

3. Games to play with head lice

 

2. Embarrassing questions to ask librarians

 

1. Cards from Monopoly that aren’t allowed in a legal Magic tournament

 

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Top 10: Most Worthwhile Causes

Published by in Top 10 on January 2nd, 2012

 

TOP 10 MOST WORTHWHILE CAUSES

 

10. March of Mimes

 

9. Save the Snails

 

8. Opossum Blood Drive

 

7. Women Against Clouds

 

6. Nappers Anonymous

 

5. Kidneys for Cabbies

 

4. Starvation Army

 

3. Feed the Pigs

 

2. Make a Squish Foundation

 

1. Occupy Wal-Mart

 

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Top 10: Ways to Know You’re Overeating

Published by in Top 10 on January 1st, 2012

 

TOP 10 WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE OVEREATING

 

10. You take a five minute break from eating only when a new president is elected

 

9. You know how your arms and legs taste

 

8. “Breathing” appears on your to-do list

 

7. You fork rusts during a meal

 

6. Burger King sues you for overworking employees

 

5. Your chins sound like applause when you nod

 

4. You have a label that says “do not drink or use medication before operating”

 

3. You eat your tonsils after they’re removed

 

2. A cake covers half of your view as you read this

 

1. The amount of calories you take in daily outnumbers the odometer on your car

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Top 10: Things to Do

Published by in Top 10 on January 1st, 2012

 

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO WHEN THERE’S NOTHING TO DO

 

10. Pick your nose

 

9. Make a ‘No yard sale’ sign and see how many people come.

 

8. Make your own spit bucket

 

7. Find out what lava lamp juice tastes like

 

6. Shave your head

 

5. Eat glass

 

4. Go hunting for snipes

 

3. Slap anybody that comes near you

 

2. Cut up a monkey and give it to your best friend

 

1. Set your hair on fire and run around without any pants on

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Top 10: Things to Do On the Bus

Published by in Top 10 on January 1st, 2012

 

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO ON THE BUS WHEN THERE’S NOTHING TO DO

 

10. Annoy the person sitting behind you – hours of fun!

 

9. Throw books out the window – have a competition to see how many cars you can hit.

 

8. Have a funeral in the back seat – Think of the bus as a big yellow hearse!

 

7. Tie the driver’s shoe laces together – you’ll ‘die’ laughing!

 

6. Play ‘Pin the Tail On the Bus Driver’

 

5. If you don’t have pants, steal someone’s! – a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!

 

4. Have a spit war with the person sitting behind you – caution: you WILL get wet!

 

3. Stare at somebody until their face gets small – it works, just try it!

 

2. Lift the emergency handle – do it until the driver screams!

 

1. Set your hair on fire and jump out the window without any pants on – have I already typed this?

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