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Archive for January, 2012:


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The Jokebook: Shave

 

The Jokebook

 

 

Why didn’t the man shave?

 

He couldn’t find his face!

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Ace & John: The Neighbors

 

Ace & John

 

Ace: You know what I hate?

 

John: Paying taxes?

 

Ace: Well, yes. But I’m talking about the fact that our neighbors are Mike and BoB!

 

John: What’s wrong them?

 

Ace: You mean you don’t know?? For starters, I was showing Mike my vast literary collection and guess what? He didn’t even recognize the work of F. Scott Fitzgerald when I flipped to a random page in The Last Tycoon!

 

John: Is that bad?

 

Ace: Bad? It’s devastating! When I was 13 years old I could recite Mark Twain novels word by word! I bet they think Huck Finn is something you do when you eat too much fish! I’ve got to show them what they’re missing!

 

John: That reminds me, I want fish for dinner.

 

Ace: Bah, you’re all neanderthals!

 

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Fun Facts: Statistics

Published by in Fun Fact on January 15th, 2012

 

Fun Facts

 

39% of people in the world sleep upside down!

 

17% of shoes made are used for food!

 

28% of stop signs are spelled incorrectly!

 

42% of people eat with their eyes!

 

100% of readers will believe these facts!

 

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Mike and BoB: New Toy

 

Mike and BoB

 

Mike: I just got a raise so I decided to go all out and get us something new!

BoB: Wow! You work?

Mike: Don’t you care about what I got? Here it is, a brand new Wii!

BoB: A wee what?

Mike: No you dunderhead, it’s a video game! You wave these remotes around in the air and it makes things move on the screen!

BoB: Sounds like a lot of work..

Mike: Come on, swordfight me!

BoB: Well, if you say so! (Pulls out a broadsword)

Mike: I mean with the Wii! Here you go, now hold it out. See what happens if I hit it?

BoB: Ow! You cut me!

Mike: What?

BoB: Watch out, you nearly put my eye out!

Mike: I didn’t touch you!

BoB: Get the Wii out of here!

Mike: I can’t! I put it on your credit card!

BoB: I don’t have a credit card! I just carry my dad’s expired one to feel cool!

Mike: I’ll pay you back when I get a real raise!

BoB: I still don’t think you work.

 

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Confessions: Loose Button

 

Confessions

 

One time I was flying my space ship casually and noticed a loose button on my space suit. I tore it off but managed to sew it back on. When I got back to Earth I got a whoopin anyway.

THE END

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Board Game Cards: Quit

Board Game Cards

 

Go to jail. Give all your money to the other players and quit playing. Lose a turn.

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